As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. On the other hand, there’s no time like the present to eradicate the negative in your life. It’s the sad but certain truth that nanny-family relationships have a beginning and an end.

This section is designed to shed light on ways to handle resignations, terminations and how to identify a crisis before it prevails.

Family Circumstances and Needs Change 

There are different reasons why nannies and families part ways. Sometimes, parting ways is mutual and even friendly. Other times, the split can prove to be quite mind numbing and messy. Hopefully, your family household situation has naturally evolved and change is simply called for. For example, you might decide to take a part-time job, begin working at home, or unfortunately find yourself unemployed. These situations might bring about an entirely different set of circumstances which no longer require the need for a nanny.

Most times, the ultimate outcome of the departure process is largely dependent upon whether your nanny is leaving on her own accord or whether you ask your nanny to leave. Whatever you do, when you approach the task of parting ways, handle your dealings with respect and directness. Don’t avoid the situation at hand, as that will only create a more uncomfortable household for everyone involved.

Switching Sitters

When you find a new nanny, definitely make sure, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you are ready, willing and able to part with your current nanny. Understand that relationship building takes time, effort and patience. If you have already invested substantial time and effort into your current childcare provider and you have already set the groundwork for a fairly solid relationship–are you willing to start the process all over? It’s time to do some deep soul searching before you take the necessary steps to part ways. If you invite a new nanny into your lives and the relationship fizzles out fairly fast you may have some deep regrets down the road.

In the event you have already conducted an interview and selected your new nanny take the direct approach. There are ways to let a nanny down with discretion. It is not unusual for parents to use rather insignificant little white lies to assist in the excuse for letting a nanny go (you might want to say that you need a nanny who drives, cooks, can stay over nights or work through the weekends, etc). Certainly, it’s never advised to tell outright lies which compromise your integrity. However, you might want to slightly skirt the ultimate truth, if the case warrants it, to let your nanny depart with dignity and civility.

Ample Notice

However you decide to break the news, it’s important to give your nanny as much notice as possible – at least a couple weeks. Naturally, there’s a good chance that things at home will become quite awkward and downright uncomfortable leading up to the last day of nanny’s service. Aside from the awkwardness, the individual who is heading out the door is also in charge of your children and watching your home unsupervised. Because of this, many parents often resort to handing over a two-week salary and let the nanny go, on the spot.

As a general rule, always pay severance. A standard to follow is one week for every year of employment. Every situation is different. If you dismiss your nanny in a fit of fury (which unfortunately is sometimes the case), there’s a good chance you won’t feel like giving any severance at all, let alone any notice. However, once you’ve regained your composure and gained perspective, then you might want to reconsider. Burning bridges is never advised and you certainly don’t want to deal with potential negative repercussions down the road. 

Warning Signs

First things first: It’s not uncommon for parents to become so caught-up in their own lives that they completely miss or ignore hints of unhappiness. If your nanny has recently become preoccupied, moody or just plain unresponsive to your requests, something is wrong. Be highly aware of these cues and subtle hints.  Address these matters, immediately, or you could stand the chance of being left high and dry. One day, you may come home to find the house empty and nanny’s room void. You certainly don’t want to lose your nanny all because you were not communicative, supportive or appreciative.

Left High and Dry

Everything seems to be going just fine, until one Monday morning 8 a.m. passes  and then 8:30 comes along and still, no word from your nanny. You hope she is stuck in traffic, but you know it is not like her to run late without even a phone call. When 11 a.m. comes and goes, you are working in full disaster mode, as it officially occurs to you that she is not going to be coming at all.

It is highly unlikely that your nanny will just up and leave without first leaving hints that things are not okay. Be aware of the warning signs. However, in the event you are left high and dry, feeling utterly shocked and duped, then you will definitely want to contact your nanny to try to make amends (if you feel no loss, then know that the departure was probably for the best). Call your nanny and let her know that things will not be the same without her. What can you possibly do to get her back? Lighten the workload? Offer a salary increase? An enhanced benefits package? Apologize for any insensitive comments you may have made, etc. Whatever the case, it’s worth the effort to try to lure her back. Plus, in doing so, you will probably find out what you can do to retain the services of your next nanny.