Unfortunately, money often stirs up the most conflict between nannies and their in-home employers. It is a fact that many nannies, based on surveys and reports, admit to being underpaid for their daily hours and workload involved. Taking this into consideration, salary, starting pay, hours and annual raises must be dealt with in compromise because there are two parties to please.

As parents, you can not bring up the fact that you are tapped-out due to expenses for your children. This is certainly not an issue your nanny should have to deal with. A nanny is hired to do a job and her expectation is to be rewarded for a job well done. Hence, if your household nanny is performing at an optimum level and tending to the care of your children, there is no reason to not reward her for her diligence and daily effort.

Keep in mind the old adage, “You get what you pay for.” If you want to skimp on taking care of your nanny, that is your prerogative. Remember, the hard and brutal truth: Your nanny certainly doesn’t have to take care of you; Employment is a two-way street.

Regional Nanny Salary Differences

Salaries tend to be the highest on the East Coast with Manhattan and its wealthier suburbs commanding the highest pay codes. In Florida and California, nanny wages tend to be slightly lower, mainly due to the illegal immigrant population available to pull from. On the average, common starting salaries range around $400 per week for 40 to 50 hours, with $300 to $800 at the extreme. Check with online nanny websites and payment calculators to see what the pay parameters are in your area of the country.

Minimum wage rarely holds standing criteria with regard to a nanny. Here’s the reason why: When it comes to hiring an individual to care for your children and home, salary is rarely a place to cut corners. After all, it’s not a car payment you’re dealing with, it’s the well-being of your children and the maintenance of your home. Nannies with more experience, a college education, the ability to drive, the care of two or more children, etc., should be rewarded with a higher salary. If the salary is negotiated, early, and the nanny rises above and beyond expectations, a raise at the end of the year should be taken into serious consideration to maintain your good home help for the long term.

Nanny Workload

It is a given that your nanny is hired to take good care of your children. This is priority number one. However, there’s a broad assumption on behalf of many parents that the hired nanny will also take care of the home. A little household help is not an unreasonable expectation. Many nannies are more than willing to assist the family in taking on a few chores while the children are sleeping, away from home (or even literally under foot). Still, it is imperative that you, as parents, are diplomatic about approaching the subject and even more diligent about expressing appreciation for the extra good deeds that make the home run like a well-oiled machine.

Family Laundry

Nannies fully realize that children’s laundry comes with the job description. If the nanny has time, it is perfectly acceptable to ask her to throw in the rest of the family’s wash as well. In many households, the family laundry is typically in one bunch. If this is the case in your home, then your nanny can most likely handle as much laundry as she can get done. No nanny, however, comes into an employment situation expecting to become a full-time laundress; washing clothes, attending to dry cleaning matters and making sure shirts are starched and ironed. Again, keep your expectations, manageable. In the event that you have major a wash situation, such as changing and washing sheets twice weekly, needing table linens ironed, and pet beds laundered, then you should probably hire an additional hand. If your nanny is willing to take on these tasks, make sure to pay her accordingly for the extra effort.

Shopping for Household Goods

When it comes to stocking the refrigerator, the nanny is typically responsible for the essentials, such as bread, milk, baby food, diapers, etc. If she can’t get out to do the shopping, it is important for a nanny to let you know when you are running low on certain items. As for general shopping, if both parents work late and can’t make it home to handle the grocery run, then it’s in everyone’s best interest to have the nanny do the weekly shopping run. It’s important to leave enough money with your nanny or provide her with a credit card to handle the extra expense. Discuss the need for receipts for these costlier errands and let her know that she can pick up things she would like, as well.

Preparing Meals

Nannies should be expected to prepare children’s meals and snacks. If the nanny you hired happens to be of the gourmet breed (purees vegetables for the baby, bakes chocolate chip cookies with the older kids and has a four-course dinner on the table when you arrive home) then that’s just the icing on the cake. Still, it is always important to keep your nanny’s workload in balance. If your nanny is spending half the day in the kitchen then other household duties may go unattended, particularly the care of your children.

Housekeeping Duty

Keeping the home neat and tidy is not an over the top expectation to ask of your nanny. Problems may crop up between you and your nanny, however, if your definition of “clean” differs from hers. In the event housekeeping is as important to you as the care of your children (and, unfortunately, this is a fact that many nannies face) then you might just have to pick up the slack yourself. Put in a few minutes yourself at the end of the day to meet your own expectations. Or, hire an added hand. A nanny’s job is to attend to matters which involve your children and their well-being. Housekeeping, outside of the children’s rooms and play areas, is not her duty. Again, be diplomatic in your approach to this subject and never assume that your nanny enjoys cleaning up after you and everyone else in the home.

Running Errands

When it comes to dry cleaning pick-up, returning books to the library, DVD rentals, packages to the post office, etc: if your nanny can fit a few of these errands into her daily schedule, great. But as an employer you should not expect her to do too much. Above all, certainly do not pass off your dirty work to your nanny, such as picking up after family pets and returning items at the department store. The best tactic is to kindly ask for help. If your nanny agrees to be of support then that is an added bonus to you. Bear in mind, the more your nanny has to handle, the more stressed-out she will become, which could short-change the care she provides to your children. Ask for help, but keep your requests in reason. And, most importantly, insist on paying for gas money and time spent for assisting with these extra duties.

The Nanny Who Never Says, ”No”

There are nannies who rarely say no. They do what they are asked and they rarely if ever complain. If you have a nanny like this in your service, do whatever it takes to keep her happy. This nanny is truly a rare gem you can’t afford to part with. The issue with this scenario is that many parents tend to take advantage of the extra help, throwing more and more chores her way. The result is rarely ever positive. Be fair and thoughtful with regard to the expectations you have for your nanny. The best way to keep your nanny happy is to be appreciative, balanced and fair.