Just like any other job in the working world, there will come a time, maybe two to four months after your interview and official employment, when the reality of your nanny job will become all too clear: Any daily duty that may have once seemed only slightly burdensome, will become downright irksome on a daily basis.

When this happens, it’s time for you, the nanny, to figure out how to make the situation work.

The information that follows will help you and your employers prevent and prepare for the transition when you simply become burned out and pushed beyond your limits. Additionally, you will find out how to attack the situation in order to wisely and professionally present your case to your employers so adjustments can be made to your workload, hours and salary. Ultimately, you will learn how to make a smooth transition to maintain a pleasant experience for everyone in the home.

Reality Sets In

The honeymoon is over: Long hours, an unbelievable load of daily chores, chauffeur service with unlimited miles (provided in your personal car) and errands you never, technically, agreed to run, etc. You find that you are not only the nanny and the housekeeper, but a personal assistant, house manager and dog sitter. No additional wages provided.

If you are a nanny who has (or is currently) experiencing the unsettling notion that you have “been had” then rest assured. You are in the majority. Join the club. It’s not only time to have a meeting of the minds, it’s beyond time. You need to approach your employers to see what can be done to help address this out of control situation.

Do Your Homework

Before you have a sit-down conversation, with your employers, take the necessary time to complete the following steps:

1. Make a list of all of your nanny duties performed on a daily, and weekly, basis (laundry, dog walking, housekeeping, attending to in-house appointments and scheduling; personal errands, etc).
2. Next to each duty listed, write down a realistic estimate of the weekly hours spent on that duty. For example: House cleaning: 3 hours, daily (3 hours x5 days=15 hours per week). Dog sitting: One hour, daily (1×5 days = 5 hours per week). Personal errands: 2 hours, daily (10 hours per week), Etc.
3. After you determine your weekly hours, multiply that number by the hourly wage an additional hired-hand would be paid to handle the duty. (For example: You take the dog to the dog park, five times a week, for one hour. In this case, multiply 5 hours X $20 = $100 ($20 being the going rate for hourly dog sitting). The numbers you ultimately reach will demonstrate the money you are saving your employer, by handling that chore free of charge. Note: If you do not know the hourly fee for each chore, $20 is a good rule of thumb for personal errands, cleaning, dog-sitting, etc.
4. Next, account for all weekly on-duty hours (if your daily hours range between 12 to 14 hours, strike an average at 13).
5. Once you calculate your daily work average, you will want to multiply that number by 5 (5 days of the week or 7 if you happen to work weekends): 13×5= 65 hours per week.
6. If you make a weekly salary, determine your hourly rate by dividing your take home pay by 65 (this will give you your hourly wage). For example: If you make $600 a week, divide by 65. In this case, $9.23 is your hourly wage.
7. Record the miles logged on your car since accepting employment.
8. Save receipts to present the dollar amount you spend on gas, weekly, to transport the family’s children.
9. Prepare a detailed list of the duties you thought you agreed to handle at the point of employment.
10. Make a list of the benefits the family has provided to you.
11. Estimate the dollar amount you are “saving” in room and board generously provided to you by the family. (If you don’t have an idea, check local listings to see what rent for a shared living space might be in your areas). For example: If a two-bedroom apartment goes for $1200 a month, then your rent would be $600.
12. Estimate utility bills and amenities being paid by the family (potential bills might include, gas, electricity, water, gym membership, etc.; also money you are saving).
13. Finally, estimate your savings with regard to food expenses (assuming the family is covering your meals). If you are a light eater, or eat out of the home, frequently, at your own expense, you may cost the family as little as $25 a week. However, if you dine-in for breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner, you will want to raise that number to $100 to $150.

What you are doing by taking initiative, as outlined, above, is creating a quick look at your overall nanny budget and benefits. Once you have evaluated your workload and acquired some realistic numbers regarding your wages and workload then take a day or two to evaluate the reality of your live-in nanny situation.

The Big Picture

Review your situation in the grand scheme of things:

If you are making at least minimum wage, saving money, and planning for your future with an acceptable degree of happiness–you are fine. Don’t sweat it. Welcome to the ups and downs in the world of nannydom. (Still, at your one-year anniversary you may want to consider addressing your workload and salary to see what changes can be made to maintain your employment for the long term).

Conversely, if you determine you are working 65 hour weeks at a rate of $7.71 an hour (barely minimum wage in many states); your extra workload is saving the family approximately $400 a month; the free room; board, utilities and living situation aren’t cutting it; you constantly feel undervalued, unappreciated and you are a miserable, nervous wreck–demand changes without question. Period.

Reassess Your Situation

If you crunch your numbers and come out of the process so frustrated you see red, begin to pack your bags and plan to blow out on pay day (which some disgruntled nannies do)–Stop. Step back, count to ten, take a deep breath and get a grip. Look at your situation in “big picture” terms.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• If you quit your job, what are your plans, afterward?
• What are the benefits derived from your current situation?
• Do you enjoy your job aside from the fact you are over-worked?
• Are you just burned-out? Would a vacation or weekends, off, help?
• Do you enjoy working with the children in the family?
• How does your relationship with the parents affect your happiness?
• What adjustments could be made in order for you to be happy?
• What is truly bothering you: The fact that you are being financially slighted or the fact that your good nature and work ethic are being taken advantage of (or a combination of both)?

Here’s the reason why you will want to do some serious thinking: If you decide to calmly sit down with your employers in order to diplomatically plead your case, but end up receiving an unbelievably defensive knee jerk reaction –you could very well find yourself terminated before you can count to ten. (If this happens, no worries. Actually, thank your lucky stars because you are dealing with people that nobody should have to deal with in a life time)!

The only situation that could be any worse for you, as a nanny, is this: You sit down to discuss matters with your employer and in return you receive a blank, dead stare, a shrug of the shoulders and the pitifully thoughtless remark: ”So what. We’ll hire someone else to do your job for half the price.” If this should ever happen to you, here’s the best advice: Get the heck out (and the sooner the better).

Plan for Worst Case Scenario

Before you do anything at all, always make a plan for the worst case scenario (you get fired or leave one day in a fit of sheer disgust). Actually, if you have a laptop or use of a personal computer, you should probably make it a point to post your online nanny profile, when things start to take a turn for the worst and you see no changes in sight. In doing so, if it comes down to it, you will already have a family or two lined-up if things don’t work out as planned. Of course, nobody wants to plan for a negative outcome. However, you must take care of yourself. Be wise, pragmatic and patient before you approach your family employers.