The nanny interview is probably the most important part of the nanny-family match process. Not only is it important for you as a family, but the interview and the questions asked and answered are just as vital for a nanny in terms of finding a family which is right for her. Employment is a two-way street, so it’s extremely important for nannies and families to be open, honest and discerning throughout the interview process. After all, a nanny is truly one of the most intimate, personal positions of employment.  

Importance of the Nanny Interview

Let’s hear it again, for the mere sake of clarification: It’s critical that you understand the realistic implications of the nanny caregiver position. First of all, you are hiring a special person to mentor and provide daily care to your child(ren). Furthermore, this person could actually live in your home and become a critical component to the daily inner-workings of your household. Parents and nannies must approach the interview with an all-business attitude. There is no time for game-playing, politicking and wooing potential candidates. Rather, this is the time in the hiring process where the family unit and nanny must be straight-forward, realistic and extremely discerning. 

Mechanics of the Nanny Interview

The best way to approach an interview is to begin by highlighting to your nanny candidate the obvious points of the job such as the hours, work schedule and a detailed description of the work involved. It’s best to go slightly overboard with details, rather than err on the conservative side and leave key points undisclosed. An example of this might be the fact that you have four pets. A nanny will want to know if she will be expected to water and feed the animals on a daily basis. If this is the case, you have to let her know. Give her the full unbridled details from the start rather than carefully backing into them later (this will only raise suspicion).

After you have given a brief, three-to-five minute synopsis of the job and your children, then it’s time to bring the nanny into the conversation. Put your nanny candidate at ease by opening with some basic, open-ended questions. You might approach the discussion by saying something as wide open as, “Tell me a little bit about your interest in kids.” This conversational approach will relax your prospective nanny candidate so she feels comfortable in your presence. (If you take a high-pressure, confrontational stance from the start, you may catch your nanny ill at ease and off-guard).

Don’t rush the meeting. In order to ask the necessary questions and get the answers you are seeking you should plan for a typical meeting to last 30 minutes. If you are seriously considering a candidate, an hour-long interview is not too long. In the event you are positive a nanny candidate is not what you are looking for from the start, a short, 15-minute interview is courteous.

Pen and Paper in Hand, Take Notes

General employment decisions are usually made based on initial impressions, follow-up questions and feedback from references. The same holds true when hiring a nanny. As you interview each candidate have a pen and paper handy. Jot down anything of importance that crosses your mind with regard to statements made, general appearance and disposition. All positive notions, concerns and reservations should be recorded. In doing so, when it comes time to make your final nanny cuts, you’ll be able to go back to your list for affirmation.

Discerning and Diligent Parents

It’s interesting how nonchalant parents often approach the interview situation: You sit down across from a virtual stranger, ask some questions, get a positive impression and then talk cash. Some parents actually invest less time interviewing nanny candidates than they do hiring service professionals such as interior decorators, landscape architects or office assistants. Why is this? Well, there are a couple of reasons worth mentioning: First of all, hiring a nanny, for most parents, is pretty much foreign territory. There are so many unknowns in the nanny hiring process which can lead to feelings of awkwardness, fear and inadequacy. Secondly, in this busy world with our hectic schedules and lifestyles, parents often want to take care of business. You want to hire the first person that seems completely capable and then get on with work and daily life. This is all understandable, but it can turn into a lose-lose situation if not approached with an attitude of complete candor, discernment and painstaking diligence.

Take the Middle of the Road Approach

Sometimes, as a parent, you may even secretly hope a nanny will choose you. You make an effort to come off as laid-back, cool, collected and not too pushy; you “soft sell” the job. You want to be picked by the nanny, rather than vice-versa.

On the other hand, some parents tend to go to the other extreme: Nannies are grilled to the point of discomfort and the parent doing the questioning is determined to stick to a preconceived notion as to what makes the “perfect” nanny. Sure, every parent wants a nanny who is experienced, bright, energetic, relatively attractive and athletic; not to mention a calm, caring, warm Mary Poppins to boot. Then again, let’s think about this for a moment. Is this a realistic expectation? Maybe it is, and maybe you’ll find that ideal nanny. But chances are it’s going to take a while–so buckle down for the long journey ahead.

The best advice: Take the middle of the road approach. If you find a nanny who is warm, has a sense of humor, seems to be a kid magnet but is more of a book worm type, then you best thank your lucky stars. Maybe she isn’t the most outgoing person in the world, and she isn’t a gourmet chef or a star soccer player. Still, you have to admit the pros out-weigh the cons. As with any relationship or opportunity in life, you often have to do some compromising. So, if you have a reliable, gentle, fun-to-be-around person sitting before you whom is eager to take care of your children and tend to matters within the home–then your search is probably over. 

First Impressions

While first impressions are important, the interview situation can often be slightly misleading. If you are looking for an outgoing, energetic fire-cracker of a nanny, and your interview with a stand-out candidate reveals a person who is more withdrawn or shy, then it’s best to get a second opinion from the listed references. Sometimes interviews can be unnatural or intimidating to job candidates. With that said, there are also sharp, quick-witted nannies who have the ability to listen, discuss and process information in the midst of an interview. Your nanny candidate might simply be intently listening, thinking and contemplating the details of the job as they are conveyed. 

Last but not least, your nanny candidate might just be less than enthusiastic about a certain part of the job description; salary offer or maybe you even unintentionally rubbed her the wrong way? Keep these things in mind if you get an unusual vibe. It’s wise to address your concerns in the interview, or later in a follow-up phone call. 

Nanny’s Appearance  

A nanny’s initial appearance will probably play more of a part in the hiring process than you would like to admit. If you interview a candidate with every possible attribute you could think of–a real super nanny in the flesh–but, there’s one problem: She is just too “hot.” So what if your top nanny candidate is young, vivacious, attractive, funny, great with kids, athletic and smart? Hire her on the spot! Some parents may feel this nanny falls into the “too good to be true” category. There are wonderful nannies out there who are attractive, great with children, smart and athletic. If your candidate is qualified, then you need to put aside any insecurity and hire the best person for the job. It’s the wise thing to do for your children, your home and you.  

On the flip side, if you meet a candidate who is simply fabulous with a great resume and wealth of experience, but has an obtrusive mole on her face; buck teeth or an unflattering haircut–you may have to compromise. If appearance is all important to you, then don’t waste your time. However, if you appreciate the person you are interviewing–go with it. Get to know her better and see if you can get over the exterior imperfections.

A Lackluster Field Of Nanny Candidates

If you are in the middle of your eighth interview, and to no avail, not a single candidate stands out, this could mean a couple things: It could point to the fact that you are being entirely too picky. Or, it could mean that you simply haven’t come across the right candidate; continue with your interviews.

Another option to consider is bringing your top-two nannies in on a day basis for a pre-determined amount of time. In doing so, you will get a feel for their overall styles and childcare philosophies. It’s amazing what you can learn about a person in a single day. One nanny might sit in front of the television and stack the dishes in the sink, while the other nanny shoots hoops outside with your son and neatly organizes your kitchen towel drawer, empties the dishwasher and makes fresh lemonade. If this is the case, you will probably have your mind made up by simply taking a quick glance at the kitchen. If you have children of verbal age, you will also be able to gauge their feedback which will prove to be all the more helpful in your final selection.

The Family Interview

At a point, you will want to introduce your nanny to the entire family. This interview should take place after initial phone contact and a one-on-one hiring interview. It’s important for a nanny to get an impression of the overall family dynamic in the home.

First things first: It’s paramount for both parents to feel completely confident and comfortable with the top caregivers on the list. After all, adults are usually the most demanding and hard to please (sorry but it must be stated). Furthermore, it goes without saying that most children will adapt to pretty much anyone who is warm, caring and fun to be around. So, once you, as parents, feel completely at ease with a prospective nanny’s demeanor, comportment and credentials, then it is time to schedule a second meeting within the home. 

Most parents will make it a point to ask everyone in the family be on their best behavior. This is all fine and dandy, but it certainly doesn’t provide the nanny with a realistic look at the household operating in all its unbridled glory. Any enlightened, observant nanny will be fully aware of the “best behavior” policy. And, she will probably catch clues and hints such as the darting evil eye or rushed tension within the family unit. Be advised that putting on the ”good child” act will do nobody any good when two weeks down your hired nanny is a daily witness to everyone’s true colors. Nobody likes this sort of surprise.